Always
by Lovesy
Summary: This is my first Chryed fanfic! It's my take on the upcoming proposal, I'm sure it won't turn out like this on EE, but I can dream! It starts after Syed has been to see his parents in an attempt to reconcile them, as per the spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**Characters belong to Eastenders, no copyright infringement intended! **

**There's another chapter to come! Hope it's not too bad, it's my first Chryed fanfic!**

**Reviews would be appreciated!**

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><p>Christian heard the door creak open as he pulled a black t-shirt down over his taut, tanned skin, his hair was still slightly damp from the shower.<p>

"Hey, you're back late, did Tanya chain you to the massage table or something?" Christian laughed, "Do you fancy going to the Vic?" he said casually as he spun towards the door to see his lover enter the flat they shared.

Syed was standing in the doorway, shoulders hunched, head bowed, eyes downcast, his dark wavy hair falling over his face creating a mask of shadows.

"Sy? Are you ok?"

Syed gently closed the door behind him and took a slow step into the room but didn't raise his head. Christian could sense Syed was trembling, his green eyes clouded with concern and he strode forward until he was inches from his subdued lover.

"What is it?" Christian spoke softly, he reached out and placed his hand on Syed's arm, gently stroking it with a calming movement. He could sense Syed struggling to control his emotions, a battle scene he'd seen play out inside his lover many times before. He wanted to help, to ease whatever Sy was feeling. His hand moved from Syed's arm to his face, stroking his jaw line with his thumb before cupping his chin and gently tilting his face upwards towards his.

Syed looked up into Christian's intense eyes, he held his gaze for a few moments, his honey brown eyes wide and brimming with tears. He felt the distance between them dissipate, Christian was looking at him with such love, Syed felt his composure crumble. There was no need to hide from this man before him, who knew him better than he knew himself. Syed felt his bottom lip tremble, the tears spilled over and a sob escaped from deep within his chest. Immediately Christian drew him close, his strong arms encircling him in a comforting embrace. Syed rested his head on Christian's shoulder, leaning in to him for support until the full length of their bodies were pressed against each other.

Syed let the emotion escape him, it washed over him like a wave, with Christian there to break the strong current and hold him afloat. All the anguish that had built up inside him over the attempted reconciliation with his estranged parents came tumbling out.

Their marriage was in trouble. No matter how much they tried to create a public façade, Syed knew the truth. He knew too much of the truth. His Mother had found out about his father's dalliance with Jane. It was the final straw on top of the mountain of problems that they had mostly brought on themselves. He could see that now. Last year, he had felt so responsible, that it was his choices that would make or break his family. But with Christian's help, and after finally accepting and learning to be comfortable with who he was, he had come to realise that it was their choices that had got them into this mess. His sense of worth was no longer reliant on their approval and love. He was loved. Unconditionally. By the man pressed up to him, breathing the same air as him. He had even grown to love and respect himself.

He didn't need their approval anymore. But it still hurt. Everything he used to have with them, everything he will not now have in the future. Especially with him and Christian thinking about the possibility of adoption, family seemed more important than ever. They were his parents, he just wanted them to love him. He still had Tam, but what about Kamil? His father had made it pretty clear that he didn't want him anywhere near Kamil. Would he be such a bad influence on his baby brother? No, of course not. It was them. It was them that would turn Kamil against him, would he even know the real Syed?

As the sobs subsided, Syed sighed and parted himself slightly from Christian so that he could look at him, there were tears in Christian's eyes.

"What would I do without you?" Syed whispered, his voice hoarse, he smiled slightly trying to relief the anguish he could see on Christian's face, his own worries temporarily forgotten as he saw his own pain reflected in his partners eyes.

"Was it them?" Christian asked, his voice low and heavy with emotion. Syed nodded, biting his bottom lip nervously as he wondered whether he should elaborate or not, he knew what Christian thought of his parents. But he also knew he would want him to be honest. They were in this together.

"I went round there…. I know, I know. But somehow I thought I could help, make them see sense about this whole Jane thing."

Christian tensed, he turned his head slightly, glancing at Syed in exasperation.

"Dad told her. He told Mum that I knew about him and Jane all along, made me out to be the hypocrite, the one that was in the wrong. When will I not be the scapegoat for that family? When will they see how destructive their own behaviour is?" Anger and desperation marred Syed's voice, he gulped in air, trying to control his breathing.

"They're in such a bad place right now, and I know what they've done to me, to us… said and done such…. terrible things.." Syed's voice cracked slightly as he spoke, but Christian took his hand reassuringly and he carried on.

"But I had to try Christian, this is it for them, make or break time, and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I didn't at least try, because I'm not them, I will never be like them."

Christian mouth softened into a smile and he gently shook his head. "You're so much better than them. How two people as bitter and twisted as your parents could have a son as beautiful and sensitive as you I'll never know."

Syed squirmed slightly with embarrassment and the corner of his mouth twitched nervously, almost smiling, but his gaze never left his lovers.

"Come and sit down with me" Christian said and still holding Syed's hand led him to the sofa. They sat down side by side, their thighs touching, their upper bodies turned towards each other. Christian clasped both Syed's hands in his and look at him intently for a long time.

"I'm so proud of you, the last few weeks, so proud of the way you've tried to make peace with your parents without giving up any of your own integrity. The way you've grown in confidence, striving forward with your own life, our life together. It's their loss not yours, you're a good man Syed Masood." Syed smiled, Christian smiled back, then bowed his head slightly, when he looked back up his face was serious.

"Sy... I love you. I love all of you. I love that you always see the good in people. I love the way that you don't give up, I love the way that you're here with me, now, like this. The way you've turned my life around." Christian licked his lips, thinking for a moment, then laughed softly, a glint in his eye, "Hell, I even love it when you're being devious, when you sulk and look at me all forlorn when you don't get what you want, because you know I'd do anything for you. I even love when we argue because I know we'll always make up. I love how you can make me feel with one look, one touch, like there's no one else in the world. I love the electricity, the passion, the fire that will never ever go out, because I can see it burning behind your eyes, and I feel it when I press my skin against yours." Christian breathing was getting heavier, his hands clasped Syed's tighter, caressing his fingers with his own.

_"_Alright, steady on" Syed chuckled, but knew exactly what Christian was feeling.

"Next you'll be telling me you love the way I turn off the alarm in the morning hoping for an extra ten minutes sleep, only to make you late for work." Syed tried to lighten the mood, but his eyes were flirty.

Christian gave an exasperated half sigh, half smile. Then looked deep into his lovers eyes "I love the other reason you make me late for work more."

He eyes fell to Syed's full lips, which parted slightly in anticipation. Christian leaned in slowly and his lips met Syed's in a slow, sensual lingering kiss. A kiss like they'd shared a thousand times before but would never fail to amaze with it's depth of feeling and intensity. Christian breathed in deeply as his lifted his head to speak again.

"But most of all, I love you for you, for just being who you are and I'd never want to change you. We're a team, me and you. Last month, when I thought I'd lost you…." Christians voice broke slightly before he continued. "I'll never turn my back on you, never judge you, whatever life throws at us we'll work it out, together. You'll always have me,… always. " He said the last word with such conviction and passion that Syed knew that it was the truth. As they stared into each others eyes, Syed noticed a slow realisation light up Christian's face. A moment of clarity.

"Sy…" he hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking over Syed's face searchingly.

"Marry me?"

Syed looked at Christian. The question took him back, shocked him. He hadn't even thought about it. It seemed silly now, why hadn't he even thought about it? He felt a panicky feeling in the pit of his stomach, was it panic? Excitement? A million questions, thoughts, obstacles raced around his head, he couldn't seem to focus on any one particular thing. Except Christians face. Christian's face inches from his own, his expression open, expectant, vulnerable, but mostly full of love…..


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, here is chapter 2! I got so caught up in this scene as I was writing it!, hope you're all feeling the love too ha ha! Thank you for the lovely responses I've had about Chapter 1, it's really encouraged me to keep going, so I'm going to write a third and final chapter!**

**Characters belong to Eastenders, no copyright infringement intended.**

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><p>Time stood still. Two men sat gazing at each other, one tall and broad, the other slim and refined. Green eyes into brown.<p>

Syed desperately tried to get words to form in his head, to put some coherence to the thoughts and emotions he was feeling.

"Say something Sy… please?" Christian couldn't bear the silence any longer, he gave a half-hearted smile, but he couldn't hide the nervousness in his face. He needed Syed to speak. Christian had laid his heart and soul bare, he needed reassurance, to hear his thoughts and feelings echoed back to him from his lover. He needed him, he needed Syed.

Syed felt like his heart was about to burst. He had never been at ease expressing his feelings verbally, but he knew he had to now, for Christian, to ease the lines of worry from his face. He wished Christian could feel his heart that was beating fiercely in his chest, feel it reaching out to him. The emotions he felt for this man overwhelmed him.

"I…. Christian…." he stumbled over his words, his breath catching in his throat. He took Christian's hand in his and placed it over his chest.

Christian felt the cool crispness of Syed's shirt, the warmth radiating from his skin underneath, then the quickening beats of his heart. He remained motionless, waiting silently and patiently, his eyes softly taking in Syed's features, but giving him the space he needed. The space to breath, to think, to be himself.

Syed spoke the words that were most clear to him in that moment, words that were the truth. His voice was strong and unwavering. Words that grounded him and let him soar at the same time, because there was no doubt in them. "I love you Christian."

Simply saying the words out loud steadied his nerves, his worries. This was the one thing that he was always sure of, that was always constant, that would always be there. A feeling so strong and natural and all-encompassing that he knew he would never not feel it.

"I love you… with every part of my being. It used to scare me, terrify me, the way I feel about you. But not anymore, it gives me strength. The strength to be who I want to be, to live my life the way I want to live it, and that's with you Christian, always you. You're everything to me. I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with you, I don't want to."

Syed leant forward until his forehead was against Christian's, the very lightest of touches, his hands reached up either side of Christian's face and he held him while he wished he could breathe in the very essence of the man before him. His lips brushed Christian's ever so gently, a caress more than a kiss and he tasted a salty sweetness. Syed looked up to see a tear tracing a path down Christian's cheek, he looked into his eyes worried that he hadn't done enough to make this amazing man feel the strength of love and devotion he had for him, but Christian's eyes were serene, glistening with tears of love, of emotion. He understood.

Syed felt the tears well up in his own eyes, he bowed his head again against Christian's, their foreheads and noses touching, Christian's face still in his hands. They stayed like that for several minutes, eyes closed, breathing in unison, as if the rest of the world didn't exist, only the two of them together in that moment.

Eventually Christian reached up and took one of Syed's hands and kissed his palm. He turned his head slightly so that his cheek was against Syed's and kissed it's silky smoothness.

"Sy…" Christian whispered against his skin.

"You still haven't answered my question."

Syed let out a small sigh and reluctantly pulled himself upright, away from Christian, immediately missing the intimacy.

"You know how I feel don't you Christian? You can't doubt it. Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But marriage? a civil partnership? I need… time. We need to talk about it, I mean the actual process, the implications….." he faltered slightly under Christian's gaze.

"There's my religion, the…. Divorce." he was stumbling now, having to think about things he didn't want to think about.

Christian grasped Syed's hands in his again, he spoke pointedly. "Okay, whatever you need Sy. We'll take some time, talk about it, I want everything to be right . But remember… " Christian looked earnestly into his lovers eyes. "It's about you and me, it will always be you and me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here is chapter 3! I dedicate it to all the lovely posters at WFCTGIO. In my head, there's some missing scenes before this chapter (this is Eastenders after all!) where they talk about the implications of a CP, family, the divorce etc, but as I (and everyone else) don't know what's happening with the divorce yet, I couldn't get my head round it, so I just skipped to the end! **

**I apologise for it getting a bit cheesy towards the end and also my squee in the middle, but I couldn't help myself! This is about a possible Chryed wedding after all! **

**All hail to the chicken ha ha!**

**Characters belong to Eastenders, no copyright infringement intended.**

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated :)**

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><p>a week later…<p>

The heady aroma of herbs and spices filled the air, as Syed stirred the seasonings into the sizzling chicken cooking on the stove. Christian was opening and closing cupboards, clattering about with plates, cutlery and glasses. Every so often he'd brush past Syed, touching his back, an arm, a thigh, then give him a look of fake innocence. Syed glared at him in chastisement, as the rice nearly boiled over. Christian was a very distracting presence in their tiny kitchen.

"Damn" Syed muttered as he realised he'd forgotten an ingredient, he reached up to get it from the cupboard, and as he did so Christian collided into him, nearly spilling a glass of orange juice he'd just poured.

"Christian! Can't you wait until I've finished? I can't concentrate with you… clanking about, getting in my way." he was getting flustered now.

Christian put the glass down and held his hands up innocently "I'm just trying to help! I did offer to cook dinner tonight remember, but you insisted! If you're having trouble… keeping your mind on the job, that's hardly my fault!" Christian grinned and raised his eyebrows in mock exasperation. He picked up the plates and cutlery and started laying the table.

Syed tutted and shook his head, but the corners of his mouth curved gently upwards. He absentmindedly stirred the chicken, but his eyes were on Christian. He watched him as he moved around the table, the tanned broad shoulders revealed under the vest he was wearing, his arms strong, yet somehow gentle at the same time, as he carefully and precisely set out the knives and forks.

It was a moment of mundane domesticity, but to Syed nothing could have been more perfect. It was the normality of it, two people in love, a partnership just going about their everyday business, preparing and sharing a meal together. All the anguish, all the… horror, that had often surrounded their relationship, the reactions of the people around them, the inner turmoil Syed himself had often felt, it had all come to this. This moment, this perfectly normal, loving, carefree moment. And this is how it would be from now on, him and Christian, just living their life, together.

Christian could sense Syed watching him, he finished laying the table with slow deliberate movements, relishing the moment, as he did every moment with his lover. With everything they'd both been through things could have turned out so different.

Christian swaggered back to the kitchen to get the two glasses of orange juice he had poured earlier, he looked towards Syed. He was stood motionless, staring at him, a half smile on his face, a soft, wistful look in his brown eyes, completely lost in his thoughts, the spoon he had been using to stir the frying chicken was resting idly in his hand.

"C'mon!, I'm getting hungry!" Christian exclaimed.

Suddenly Christian was aware of a burning smell in the air, thick smoke had begun to curl up from the frying pan.

"Sy!" Christian shouted, "…the chicken!"

Christian quickly reached for the knob on the cooker and turned the heat off. "I think I just about saved it." he sighed, taking the spoon from Syed's hand and giving the charred chicken a stir in a vain attempt to revive it. He glanced sideways at Syed, but he was still staring at Christian, seemingly oblivious to the fact that their dinner had very probably become inedible.

Syed's brown eyes were wide and unblinking as he gazed at Christian. "Yes." he simply said.

"What?" Christian said distractedly, as he examined the remains of their meal. "I told you that you should have let me do it…. you know how your mind wanders." he put the spoon down, before turning to Syed and winking, a devilish smile on his face.

Syed ignored Christian's procrastinating, "My answer's yes." he said assuredly.

"Yes what?" Christian asked slightly confused, he turned to give Syed his full attention.

"Yes, I'll marry you." Syed was smiling now, a wide, broad smile that made his eyes twinkle and shine.

Christian's green eyes opened wide in surprise, disbelief almost. Then it dawned on him what Syed had just said, he'd given him his answer, he'd said yes!, they were going to get married!

_Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Oops, sorry, that was me! -Lovesy)_

Christian's face lit up with the most brilliant, beaming smile. "Really?" he said, wanting to be sure his ears weren't deceiving him.

"Really." Syed nodded, still smiling. The two of them couldn't stop smiling at each other.

Suddenly Christian scooped Syed up in a bear hug like only Christian could give, such was the force that Syed's feet actually left the floor. He laughed as Christian put him back down, and their eyes met and locked onto one another, their faces turning more serious.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Christian's eyes fell to Syed's soft mouth and Syed stood on tiptoes as he reached up and gently brushed Christian's lips with his own, kissing him slowly, teasingly at first. As they felt the fire between them ignite, their kiss became more urgent, more needy. They staggered toward the large bed that dominated the flat, turning in circles, hands exploring, searching, their desire intensified by the happiness that rooted itself into their very souls.

"What about dinner?" Syed said heavily, his breathing erratic, his pupils dark and dilated, "I thought you were hungry?"

Christian kissed him hard, pushing him down onto the bed, "I am…."

The half burnt chicken, congealed in the frying pan, was still sitting on top of the stove when Christian and Syed awoke wrapped in each others arms the following morning.

THE END.


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